"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"
-Homer J. Simpson

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Full 24-Minute Saskatchewan Scandal Video

The Highlights (With Video time in front)

2:56 Tom Lukiwski's Homophobic Comments

[Tom Lukiwksi is the Member of Parliament for Regina Lumsden Lake Center]

TOM LUKIWSKI: Well, as we say in tour, I may be old, but I’m fucking A, eh.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And who is this A person?

TOM LUKIWSKI: Well, let me put it to you this way. There’s A’s and there’s B’s. The A’s are guys like me, the B’s are homosexual faggots with dirt on their fingernails that transmit diseases.

(INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, quit talking about Jeff like that.

TOM LUKIWSKI: Well, John Bergen and I had a little discussion and I’d like to tell you that it’s going to be out in our campaign literature real soon, watch for it (INAUDIBLE).


5:20 Letter Bomb (With a Sexual Innuendo Interlude)

[Kathy Young is the Director of Communications for the Saskatchewan Party Government
She is also involved important messages involving labour legislation and other labour issues being debated in the Saskatchewan Legislature right now]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What are you writing, Kim?

KIM: I’m writing –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: F-words.

KIM: Oops, I said, Tom, I tried to think of something witty, but what the fuck, happy birthday.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Very blurry handwriting.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our friends and union leaders.

KATHY YOUNG: George Rosseneau, Barb Byers are big friends of mine personally.

[snip]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let’s see here. What have we got going on on this screen?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You’re talking about –

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, it’s top secret.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That’s right. We’re talking about friends.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We’d show you, but then we’d have to kill you.

KATHY YOUNG: We’re writing this union speech to the red union leaders, George Rosseneau. We have threatened his life two times, and what else?

KATHY YOUNG: Oh, we sent a bomb to Barb Byers --

[Barb Byers is the Executive Vice-President of the Canadian Labour Congress, having been (at the time of the video) at the helm of the SGEU through the turbulent years of the scandal-ridden Conservative government of Grant Devine]

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We --

KATHY YOUNG: Byers, a letter bomb to Barb.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: To Byers.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: To Byers.


7:20 Some Astute Political Analysis


[The results of the 1991 Saskatchewan election? The tories lost almost three-quarters of the seats they had held in the legislature and a significant share of the popular vote. Final Seat Count? 10]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We’re going to win 42 seats.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t think we’re going to win – how many did you say?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Forty-two.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t think we’re going to win 42 at all.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you think? (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How many do you think we will win?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t know.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, take your best shot.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I don’t know very much about politics. How much –

(LAUGHER)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How’d you get your job? Who do you know?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I’m going right now to visit him.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yeah. I know a lot, but not a lot of – not a lot of about that.


8:00 First Lynda Comment

[Lynda Haverstock was is the former leader of the Saskatchewan Liberal Party and was the Lieutenant Governor of Saskatchewan from 2000 until 2006.]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I predict that Grant Devine will smash the living dog shit out of that spineless political playboy and kick the balls right off of that hard-headed slut Lynda.


8:40 Second Lynda Comment

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What about Lynda’s balls?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It’s going to be tight. I don’t think Lynda has balls.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, big ones, big chubby suckers like this.


11:00 Tom Again

TOM LUKIWSKI: We want to tell you exactly what we think from the tour
standpoint. We think the tour is going fucking A.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Fucking A.

TOM LUKIWSKI: And we think the debate’s going to go fucking A.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Fucking A.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And predictions for the outcome of the election?

TOM LUKIWSKI: Well, we think the Tories are going to do fucking A.

OTHERS: Fucking A.

TOM LUKIWSKI: We’re kind of stuck on that, you know.

[You are sure "stuck" now Tom.]


11:50 John Scraba makes an Appearance

[John Scraba is the architect of the tory fraud scandal in Saskatchewan. In what is easily the biggest political scandal in Saskatchewan's history, no fewer than 12 members of Devine's government were charged in relation to a scheme that defrauded taxpayers of more than $837,000.]

JOHN SCRABA: You’re tipped sideways there, that’s okay.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, well, I’ll just get it that way then.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, no, you’re in a proper frame here. I got it right. Here we go.
All right. Now, do you have comments on the debate, sir?

JOHN SCRABA: Certainly. We haven’t seen it yet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, well, what do you predict?

JOHN SCRABA: Oh, predict an overwhelming victory and defeat for the other
socialist hordes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And what do you predict on the outcome of the election?

JOHN SCRABA: And urinate on their remains while we’re at it.


13:20 Third Lynda Comment

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, you know, all you got to do is let Lynda talk long enough
and she makes a fucking idiot out of herself, that’s all I have to say.


13:36 Joan Berston Making very odd comments

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Say something profound.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It’s either black or white. It’s either – just a minute. Excuse me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, did he win this bitch?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Big time.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Black or white. You have to do your eyes like this.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, oh, oh,

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And you have to have big lips and (inaudible).

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And, Ms. --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Black or white.


15:10 Former Senator Berston makes an appearance

[Eric Brentson was the Tory Leader of the Opposition from 1979 to 1982 and was Deputy Premier in the Devine government. In 1999, Bernston was convicted of illegally diverting government allowances for polling purposes between 1987 and 1991 when he was Saskatchewan's deputy premier. He was sentenced to one year in prison.]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Senator Berntson, do you have a reaction tonight?

ERIC BERNSTON: Well, number one, I’m not Senator Berntson. I’m an anonymous guy that –

(LAUGHER)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He’s with the government and he’s here to help.

ERIC BERNSTON: that doesn’t know anything about any of this stuff, so all I’ll say is fucking A.

(LAUGHTER)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So don’t quote me on it.

ERIC BERNSTON: No, don’t quote me, yeah.

(INAUDIBLE)


16:00 Regan Rap

[Good Stuff]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, I have.

BRAD WALL: “Well, I’m the big gipper, don’t mess with me. I’m the baddest rapper this side of DC with my best girl Nancy as my spouse,rappin’ to you from that big white house. B-b-b-b Bonzo, b-b-b-b Bonzo.” That’s the white house rap.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Cool.


16:40 Brad Becomes the Camera Man

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The zoom should be right on there.

BRAD WALL: It should be on the trigger somewhere. Push.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, here it is, right here. Your zoom is right here, Brad --

BRAD WALL: Oh, yeah.


19:00 Ken Azzopardi And the 4th Linda Comment

[Ken Assopardi is the Chief Executive Officer of the Canadian Taxpayer's Federation]

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, they’re busy in here.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ken Azzopardi and his – and his future of Saskatchewan.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is what Ken’s – what does he think about Lynda? This is Ken. He (INAUDIBLE) big time stuff, big time stuff.

[Holds up Lingerie catalog with women's read ends]


20:50 Ken doing up his pants and Reds rant

KEN AZZOPARDI: I’m doing up my –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He’s doing up –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There it is –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Now the light’s on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The light is on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s my first opportunity to look into this campaign. Fuck you all. We won tonight.

KEN AZZOPARDI: Well, you know, I was just talking to a guy and there’s four reds there at his house. He’s ours. He has four reds at his house and the reds think the reds – the City of Regina reds who said Lynda won --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, give me –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: -- on --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: On abortion, abortion.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, they say that because they want them to say it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wait a minute, no, no, no.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Abortion.

KEN AZZOPARDI: Lynda won and Romanow was the big loser. For a red that’s a major fucking victory.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A major fucking victory.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Lynda made –

JOAN BERNTSON: She made one statement on abortion, you know. She made one statement on abortion earlier, but I can’t remember what it was, but it was everyone in Saskatchewan cares about the lives --


21:90 Brad Stops being Camera Man, just in time to give us: Brad's Ukranian impression

KATHY YOUNG: The Premier versus Haverstick (sic) and –

BRAD WALL: Let me tell you something. I watched that in – I watched that in Preeceville. I watched that debate and I’ll tell you this, I never – I never seen Grant Devine – I – I will never – I never voted for Grant Devine.

KATHY YOUNG: Why not?

BRAD WALL: I never voted for him, but I –

KATHY YOUNG: Why not?

BRAD WALL: Before. I see him on TV tonight after Helen fixed me dinner and I tell you I like Grant Devine. Roy Romanow got his head up his ass . I don’t even know how he walks upright with his head so far up his ass and I’ll you --

KATHY YOUNG: Mr. (INAUDIBLE), how do you think he walks --

BRAD WALL: I’m not – I’m not kidding. So the bottom line is this –

UNIDENTIFIED MAILE: Why you talking like that?

BRAD WALL: I’m voting – I’m going to vote. I’m voting and the guy that I will vote for – who I’m voting for – marking my ballot to vote is Grant Devine.

KATHY YOUNG: And you –

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (INAUDIBLE) I thought it was good. Oh, Curtis